Every consult we have with Intended Parents, the #1 question is “How long until I can find a match?” The answer is always, “Well, it all depends!” It depends on several factors. Let’s take a quick look at challenges in matching with a surrogate.
#1). Location. If you are open to many locations (region or state) then you will have a larger pool of surrogate candidates that will be interested in your profile.
#2). Insurance status. Being more open to potential surrogates that may not have “surrogate friendly insurance” will help move the matching process along much faster. All our surrogates will have insurance prior to an embryo transfer but they may not have employer based insurance. Being open to other alternatives shortens the wait time.
#3). Ethnicity. This can be a very “tricky” conversation. Many Intended Parents are only open to one ethnicity while others are open to any healthy women who has had successful births. Being open to all ethnicities helps match Intended Parents more swiftly.
#4) Age. This can also be a difficult issue to navigate both on the Intended Parents side of things and the Potential Surrogate. Many Intended Parents wish to have a surrogate in a narrow age range (for example, 25-29 years old) while many surrogates desire younger rather than older Intended Parents. Many great surrogates with recent healthy deliveries get passed over because they are 37+ years old. We require an OB clearance for all surrogates, so even if a potential carrier is 39 years old and had a successful pregnancy 2 years ago she is a good candidate. On the other side, many surrogates prefer not to match with Intended Parents where both partners may be older than 50.
#5) Termination. Most Intended Parents desire total control over what happens to their child. This is only natural and understandable. It is important to match with a surrogate who shares your views on the need for termination of a pregnancy. This should be one of the first things you discuss during match meetings. We strive to educate our surrogate candidates about the reasons for termination and that the decision to terminate a pregnancy is one that is difficult, painful and not without much contemplation for all.
#6) Relationship. No one can anticipate how their relationship will progress and our advice has always been to let things grow naturally. Finding the perfect surrogate to carry your babies is usually going to require that you have a relationship with the surrogate and many desire an on-going relationship. Deciding what you would ideally desire in a friendship with the woman carrying your child is an important part of the Intended Parent application process and for the vast majority of surrogates, the relationship is what drives the desire to assist another couple.
Our goal is to have happy and productive matches that culminate in a pregnancy and a live birth with a wonderful journey for both the surrogate and the Intended Parents. You can learn more about surrogate matching on our website at www.familysolutionsinterational.com