As a parent, you’re well aware of how detail-oriented children will be. Children whose family looks a bit different from others may start to question how they came to be. As they start to get older, children become well aware that two dads or a single mom don’t fit the standard equation.
If your child was conceived via gay surrogacy or another form of surrogacy, it’s important to have the “How was I born?” discussion as soon as possible. This will allow your child to normalize the process and be comfortable and prideful in their own story.
The Benefits of Knowing
For some parents, the idea of telling their child they were conceived in a non-traditional way can be scary. Yet, research has shown that keeping your child’s origin a secret can impact not only the child but the parents as well. One study found that children born via surrogacy have “higher level of adjustment difficulties” and mothers who kept their child’s origin a secret had “higher levels of distress.”
Not explaining your child’s true origin can cause feelings of guilt, shame, and distrust. It may also cause them to view surrogacy in a negative light. Knowing how we came to be gives us a sense of trust, self-esteem, and, most importantly, identity.
Young children are extremely open-minded and resilient. It’s important to lay the foundation as early as possible to create a positive story from the very beginning. As a surrogate parent, you may want to start documenting your child’s origin long before they are born. Take pictures of yourself, the surrogate mother and family, the nursery, the baby shower, and other events that you’ll want to share. Taking pictures and making notes of the process makes it much more understandable and relatable for a child.
You may also find some comfort in telling your baby the story from early on in life. While an infant may not understand what you’re saying, the early years give you time to practice and to fully embrace the story.
Other Helpful Tips
Aside from starting early and documenting your child’s birth story, there are plenty of other tips to keep in mind. These tips include:
- Reading books about surrogacy
- Being straightforward and simple
- Discussing with friends and family members
Children are moldable and love to be able to connect to their true selves. While your family story may be different, don’t let it keep your child from knowing their origin. The more open and honest you are with your child, the more socially acceptable and positive surrogacy will become.
Experience Parenthood Via Surrogacy
Do you want to start a family via LGBT surrogacy? Are you looking to find the ideal gestational parent for your upcoming family? At 3 Sisters Surrogacy, we provide surrogacy for gay couples as well as single parents, and more. Your path to parenthood is waiting! Call us today at 877.976.9483 to get started.